Another (Not So) Radical Idea

When I graduated from college twenty years ago, I wrote a senior thesis. I was in the Women's Studies program and even though we could take a senior seminar to complete our degree, I volunteered to write a thesis because I wanted to challenge myself. The subject of my paper was "Why We Need to Include Men in the Feminist Movement." At the time, it was a radical idea and not one that was well received by my peers. I was, in fact, ridiculed by my professor in my thesis workshop. I didn't report that incident because I knew it was an unpopular idea and I knew I would take crap for it. But I also fervently believed that it was ludicrous for 50% of the population to get together to talk about their rights without including the other 50% in the discussion. In the minds of those who were threatened by my idea, including men would be "asking for their permission" or "allowing them to dominate the conversation," and both of those fears are completely justified.

But what I was suggesting was that we take care not to pit ourselves against men, that we don't stereotype them the same way we have been, that we don't assume all men are sexist. I knew, from my personal life, that they are not. I knew that there was a lot of support out there from men, men who wished their lives could be different as well. Post-college, I noticed a trend. Nearly all of my intimate relationships were with men who had been accused of being gay at some point in their lives; because they cared about their appearance, decorated their apartments, liked to cook, made friends with women, hugged in public, or just liked to talk about something other than sports, beer or women. There was never a question of whether they actually were homosexual. They were not. Never had been, never would be.

The fact was that because they didn't fit into the stereotype of what society expects men to be -- and in my mind they are far more desirable than the stereotype -- they must be gay. There must be something wrong with them. It's not normal for a man to be like that. So it made perfect sense to me that men and women should work together to denounce these stereotypes, to be ourselves (whoever we are) and to stand up against treating people one way or another based on their bodies. It's no different than treating people based on what language they speak, what country they're from, what color their skin is or what kind of car they drive. People are people and we're all different. But we're all people. We should all have the same rights and no person should have rights over another person.

Emma Watson, an elegant, intelligent, talented young woman, has been tasked by the United Nations to tackle this issue and she has come up with the same idea I had twenty years ago: To include men in the feminist movement. I could look at this as if we haven't come very far but I don't. At the time, my statement was made to one classroom and a single faculty member at one University in one state in the United States. Now, the statement is being made to the United Nations and the entire world. I hope people hear the message and respond. Enough is enough!

I'm a Feminist Too

I just discovered Laci Green. The Internet is so vast. We see things flying around on Facebook and have this illusion that we're "seeing what's going on" in the world. The fact that we have shared online experiences tricks us into thinking that we've experienced everything that's going on when in fact, we're just partying in the same room while a whole world is outside. It's both the benefit and the detriment of social media. While we can more easily share ideas and rally behind a single action, we can also more easily ignore and miss other ideas and fail to put our attention where it might be more useful.

So back to Laci Green. She is doing what I would be doing if the technology existed when I was her age. It's the reason I started this little blog. I started my senior thesis in college, twenty years ago (!), with the same sentence that she starts this video with. In essence, my name is and I'm a feminist. Because it was then and still is a "dirty" word. I'm sickened by the comments that people have made on the YouTube page. Hateful, violent things presented as some kind of logical argument by people who probably consider themselves to be normal and nice. People who use those mouths and hands to love people and do jobs and drive cars. But in the privacy of their home, they virulently defend a social system that oppresses men and women and is the main cause of social inequality.

All of the the ills of the world -- war, slavery, poverty among them -- are the result of these dichotomies that force men to fight instead of talk and women to fuck instead of lead. Excuse my language but clearly the world is not right and I'm glad that Laci Green has the guts to say it. As many times as it needs to get said!

Tell It Like We See It

This is a great little video made by students at a university in Canada as a class project. My guess is that they were tasked to bring in ads from magazines that stereotyped women in objectified, submissive roles and men in cold, dominating roles. And my guess is that it wasn't difficult. It is shocking when you see these types of ads placed side by side. Even more shocking is when we aren't shocked; when we experience these ads cool or sexy because we're so desensitized to these extreme roles.

A Husband's Permission

The sixties may seem like an aeon ago, especially to young women. But in the span of human history, it isn't very long ago and the changes that have happened between then and now are monumental. The young women of today who don't want to call themselves feminists may not realize what the feminists of the sixties achieved. To see what they came out of to where we are today is astounding.

Courtesy CNN

They literally brought women into the world. We were sequestered away as an accessory of husbands. Our job was to keep that home and that's it. Women didn't have choices like we do now. And if they did choose to do something different, rest assured that their way was made very difficult.

When I was in college, one of my professors told us that when she was first married (in the seventies) she went to the local library to get a card and was told she needed her husband's permission. As a married woman, she had the rights of a child! So, as a reminder, here are five things women couldn't do in the sixties.

Bringing Booty Back

I'm incredibly late to this party (156 million views!) but this is a very catchy sixties style doo-wop that got in my head and I can't get it out.



What's even cooler than this fun little song, though, is the story behind it. Meghan Trainor shopped the song around for a long time before a producer told her that she needed to record the song. She did and the rest is history!

Regret At Age Fifteen

When asked what their biggest fear is, some of these teenage girls replied with the expected heights, bugs and crowds, but a majority answered with shockingly adult answers. Death. Not fulfilling their dreams. Not being happy with their life when they're older. Failure. The future.

These are things that I fear, as a forty-year old! At their age, I don't remember thinking about failure. Even while pushing through adversity I only thought about what I was going to accomplish. Though these fears may have always been there I'm sure I wasn't aware of them until quite recently. It makes me wonder what these girls will fear when they're my age. Perhaps, having lived through these fears, they won't fear anything at all!

Courtesy rookiemag.com

Helping the Eager Beaver

I recently watched a great History Channel series on DVD, America: The Story of Us. It made me sad to hear that when Europeans fanned out across the new America, they found beavers in the millions. Long ago hunted almost to extinction in Europe, beavers were hunted here for their thick pelts and to make men rich. Their numbers quickly dwindled.

But even today they’re considered a pest when they interfere with our plans and designs. All too often, instead of looking for creative solutions, we simply kill animals considered pests. Even though it was us who invaded and changed their natural environment.

Courtesy history.com

When we take the time to study the behavior of any wild animal though, we often find that they are incredibly beneficial to our environment and us. But it takes time, curiosity and a love of animals to understand their role and to make the changes necessary to thrive together. Figuring out how to share our world with animals challenges our traditional notions of success. For hundreds if not thousands of years, humanity has focused on conquering nature, not living in it. We’re quickly learning, though, that this way of living has dramatic unintended consequences.

Courtesy pbs.org

This was the focus of another great TV show, Nature: Leave it To Beavers. Beavers, it turns out, are enormously important in our changing climate! They keep water from trickling away from areas that desperately need it. They build elaborate dams, create ponds, attract and protect wildlife and develop lush wetlands. To reintroduce these creatures to wild areas, scientists trap and relocate them from suburban areas. The women who do this work have the opportunity not only to help the animals but humanity and the planet as well.

Little girls who love animals invariably want to be veterinarians when they grow up, wanting to work with dogs, cats or horses since those are the animals they’re most likely to interact with. Some fall in love with dolphins and dream of being a marine biologist. But there are a multitude of female scientists studying and helping wild animals in their natural habitats or helping to restore their habitats. Working in some of the most stunning landscapes in the world, these women are improving the lives of animals through hands-on involvement. It can be as rewarding and as heartbreaking as being a parent. Another fantastic show I've been watching on PBS is about the men and women who have become devoted parents to wild animals. New episode on tonight: My Wild Affair.

To prepare for this work, kids can make a practice of observing and wild animals in their own environment, visiting protected wild spaces and learning about the wild animals that live there and how our livelihoods are symbiotic. Understanding that wild animals have families, homes, favorite foods, things they’re afraid of and things that they’re good at makes it easier to appreciate them. They really aren’t so different from us!

The stereotype of a scientist is someone in a lab with goggles on, looking at the world through a microscope. But more and more, scientific minds are being used to study our natural world and design ways to live better, longer, and happier lives. Getting a college degree in biology, microbiology, physics, chemistry, math or statistics is now a very versatile choice, offering the most diversity in careers and allowing future job seekers to be part of team working to help animals. For we now know that when we give animals our love and understanding, everyone is better off.