Another (Not So) Radical Idea

When I graduated from college twenty years ago, I wrote a senior thesis. I was in the Women's Studies program and even though we could take a senior seminar to complete our degree, I volunteered to write a thesis because I wanted to challenge myself. The subject of my paper was "Why We Need to Include Men in the Feminist Movement." At the time, it was a radical idea and not one that was well received by my peers. I was, in fact, ridiculed by my professor in my thesis workshop. I didn't report that incident because I knew it was an unpopular idea and I knew I would take crap for it. But I also fervently believed that it was ludicrous for 50% of the population to get together to talk about their rights without including the other 50% in the discussion. In the minds of those who were threatened by my idea, including men would be "asking for their permission" or "allowing them to dominate the conversation," and both of those fears are completely justified.

But what I was suggesting was that we take care not to pit ourselves against men, that we don't stereotype them the same way we have been, that we don't assume all men are sexist. I knew, from my personal life, that they are not. I knew that there was a lot of support out there from men, men who wished their lives could be different as well. Post-college, I noticed a trend. Nearly all of my intimate relationships were with men who had been accused of being gay at some point in their lives; because they cared about their appearance, decorated their apartments, liked to cook, made friends with women, hugged in public, or just liked to talk about something other than sports, beer or women. There was never a question of whether they actually were homosexual. They were not. Never had been, never would be.

The fact was that because they didn't fit into the stereotype of what society expects men to be -- and in my mind they are far more desirable than the stereotype -- they must be gay. There must be something wrong with them. It's not normal for a man to be like that. So it made perfect sense to me that men and women should work together to denounce these stereotypes, to be ourselves (whoever we are) and to stand up against treating people one way or another based on their bodies. It's no different than treating people based on what language they speak, what country they're from, what color their skin is or what kind of car they drive. People are people and we're all different. But we're all people. We should all have the same rights and no person should have rights over another person.

Emma Watson, an elegant, intelligent, talented young woman, has been tasked by the United Nations to tackle this issue and she has come up with the same idea I had twenty years ago: To include men in the feminist movement. I could look at this as if we haven't come very far but I don't. At the time, my statement was made to one classroom and a single faculty member at one University in one state in the United States. Now, the statement is being made to the United Nations and the entire world. I hope people hear the message and respond. Enough is enough!